And..... I'm back!

Wow! Today is literally the first day of the rest of my life.
Yesterday I told Caleb I was so excited for today. "Why?" He wondered...
Because I get to do laundry. And dishes. And scrub the toilets. And mow the grass. And chop some wood. And. And. And...
Yes, after ten months of diverting my attention to the cause of paying tuition for Hailey, I am returning to my assigned role of stay-at-home-mom and homeschool teacher.
I'd like to think that I am wiser. I know for sure that I am stronger. (and thinner) :-)
When I emerge from the mountain of chores that have awaited my attention for so long, I will share what led me to this place, and details of the growing I have done this past school year.
I have missed you all, almost as much as I have missed my children.
But not quite. ;-)

When good cleaners go bad

My mom flips houses. You know, buys foreclosed rejects, fixes them up and
POOF
sells them for a profit. So whenever she has a house that needs fixing, I usually jump in and help out. It gives me a little extra income and helps her get finished more quickly.
Win-win.
So yesterday, when I was there painting cabinet door faces, I realized a few of them were pretty dirty. The kitchen and bathroom sinks are currently disconnected, and the only water source is the outside hose. I had Hailey bring me a wet rag and the bottle of pine-sol. Pouring a bit of pine-sol on the rag as needed, I scrubbed the doors, then painted them. It wasn't until about an hour later that I realized something was wrong. I turned to look at Hailey and the room swam. Determined to finish, I quickly swiped paint on the remaining drawer faces and stood to clean up. I could barely walk! I didn't even TRY to clean my paint brush. Signing out, the list was blurry. I got in my car, thinking that if I could just get home, I could go to bed. Nothing doing. I was violently nauseated. I drove about three blocks before I pulled over and called for back-up. After being rescued by family, and resting the remainder of the evening, I looked online for some answers. Apparently, there are people who sniff pine-sol ON PURPOSE! Sheesh! But dizziness is a common side effect of breathing the fumes. I guess painting and cleaning in a closed room was a bad idea.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled program

Last night was my first night back at work, after a six week medical leave of absence.
I have to say, it was a little surreal. Everyone was surprised to see me, although no one seemed happy I was back. It was just matter of fact. She's back. Moving on.
My manager was out, but I was able to get into the facility, so she (or someone) must have put me in the system. Hopefully the fact that I couldn't clock in or out won't be a problem.
Thankfully, my doctor limited me to two hours of standing/walking at a time, so I was only there for a little while. After the first hour my foot felt like a hot branding iron was being applied directly to the bottom of it. The second hour was spent carefully watching the clock.

Meanwhile, I got my brochures and business cards from the printer, so I will be sending out tons of them tomorrow. I'm working on building a website now. Hopefully, I'll start to see some business soon.

The Tangled Web I DIDN'T Weave

This whole situation has become a stupid, confusing mess.
You know that moment when you realize that a small decision could have made things SO much easier, but you made the decision you made, and you can't go back?
Well, this morning I was given the opportunity to go back. I couldn't take it, because I would be lying, if I did.
I got the call from my senior manager, who wanted to let me know that dancing at work means a warning letter. (read-being written up.) Then she asked me if I was sure I hurt myself dancing. I understand that she was trying to be gracious. I get that she was trying to give me an "out." But I apologized for any inconvenience, since the fact that I hurt my foot dancing a little step means that workman's comp will be denying my claim, and now they have to go to the trouble to discipline me. Oh, gosh! Shame on me for having a moment of jubilation and not being willing to lie about it.
Meanwhile, I have been ordered to see a doctor approved by workman's comp, who happens to be out-of-network from my health insurance. The workman's-comp-approved doctor has ordered me to physical therapy, which means if I get the denial from WC while going to PT, I will have to discontinue PT, go see my PCP and get her to re-order it, which will take time, all while I am out of work.
O G! (oh, gee!)
But what am I doing now?
Sitting by the phone, waiting for the WC case worker to call me and tell me what to do.
I think I'll get out my rubber exercise band and do my OWN PT!
Now, who will I charge for it?

Epic Fail

I have mentioned before that I don't like people who don't do their job. And particularly, one person in particular gets on my last particular nerve, but I'm REALLY trying to keep a good attitude about it. Last night, (still today to me, because I haven't been to bed yet) she was in rare form. She doesn't do anything and she treats me like I'm an idiot. I have a very strong suspicion that she doesn't like me, which is fine, because the feeling is mutual. But we do have to work together, so I try to be nice.
But God has been on my case about my attitude. I can't do anything about her actions, but I can do something about my REactions. So tonight, whenever I would feel the frustration building, I would sing a song I learned as a child, which is basically Philippians 4:8 put to music:
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."
Meanwhile, I am trying to keep my mind stayed on God and how He so richly blessed me all day yesterday.
It started with my manager letting me go home early so I would be well rested for an appointment I had. Then, at this appointment, I took a very tough test and miraculously passed it. I say miraculously, because there's no way I got any of the answers right on purpose. I didn't have time to do the complex math problems, much less decide which multiple choice answer to pick. So, either God directed my hand in the random choices I made, or the correct answer wasn't really the point. They told us to not leave anything blank. I answered everything.
Then I got a message from a friend whose child has outgrown the uniform shirts I needed to buy for Hailey, and wants to bless us with them. Hailey gets some used, but still in good condition uniform shirts for free!
So tonight I was determined to keep my chin up and not let her get to me. I was fine almost all night.
Then IT happened.
Every night we go load a plane near a building with a restroom. Every night, several of us go into this building and use said restroom. Tonight, however, I asked if it was okay for me to go inside and she told me we weren't allowed to go in there. I told her I go in there every night. Apparently, we aren't really supposed to go in, because the pilots don't like to share their nice building with hourlies. So I can't go use the restroom.
She says, "You should have gone before you came out to the plane."
I say, "I didn't want to leave the slide, when I always use the bathroom out here."
She says, "Well, you can't go in there anymore."
So I say, "Well, then, you'll have to take me back."
She says, "I can't take you back now. We have to load the plane."
I lost it.
Testimony~gone.
I got off the people mover and shouted that she could have told me that before she drove me all the way out to the plane, stormed off, threw my bag to the ground, and proceded to tell the rest of the crew just what I thought of being treated that way.
After it was all said and done, I had to apologize for over reacting and being childish. Who knows if I will be in trouble for making a fuss, but I did apologize to everyone individually.
But the thing I was most grieved about was that I was trying so hard to be a witness to these people. I had even had the chance to share the gospel with some of them. But I am still a sinner. We all make mistakes. Thankfully, God's mercies are new every morning.
And guess what?
It's morning!

Clean-up on aisle "Whine"

After a few weeks of back-breaking, sweat-inducing work, I have come to the conclusion...
I'm crazy.
We already knew it, but now it is confirmed.
I thought going to work at night would be a cinch, because I'm a night owl.
Turns out that staying up on facebook and watching the tube until 3 am doesn't exactly condition you for throwing boxes of all sizes and weights for hours on end during the night.
And don't even get me started about the whole heat issue.
There's something to be said for good old fashioned air conditioning.
I said that last night, and Shawn about snorted tea out his nose.
Meanwhile, I had a mini breakdown a couple of nights ago. Years of sleeping for 9-10 hours per night has softened me. No comments.
Now I have to try to function on about 6-7. It ain't working. Meltdowns are inevitable under these circumstances.
I don't eat much, because, when do I eat? I wake up around 2:30. Too late for lunch, and I'm not hungry yet. So I have dinner with the family. Then a snack of cheese and fruit or a lunchable around 2:30 am.
That's it.
So it would be obvious that the weight should just melt right off, wouldn't you think?
Well, you'd be WRONG!
I guess my body is in starvation mode, preserving every drop of precious (note the sarcasm) fat, so I can function during the night.
Whatever.
Meanwhile, back to the breakdown at hand...
I don't know when to do laundry, because I'm basically a walking zombie. I get up, but my brain is not engaging. The laundry is piled up, including the clean laundry, which needs to be folded. The toilet needs scrubbing, I think I could sweep up the hair on my bathroom floor and knit a wig for the dog. (who I accidentally shaved a stripe into the side of... don't ask)
I don't do much around the house anymore. The kids do most of it. It's not fair to them, and they do a kid-level job of it. But I have to be thankful for what I can get these days.
I miss my kids, I miss my bff, who I only have time to text now, I miss my husband, and I miss my dogs.
The end.

Ask, and ye shall receive

Monday night was hard. So hard, that I had to wonder if I was crazy for taking this job. Frankly, I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing. Tuesday I spent the whole day just exhausted, even after a full "night's" sleep. (quotes, because it was daytime. duh.)

I was cranky. I was crabby. I was whiny.

I went to work anyway.

On my way, I prayed for God to make the night a little easier than the night before.
I think I might have actually asked for it to be a LOT easier, but I don't remember.

There was much rambling and whining.

I even posted a note on facebook for my friends to pray.

Then I went in to work.

I couldn't get through security.

Somehow, because of a computer glitch, the security gates thought I wasn't scheduled to work.

I called my manager.
No answer.

I called her cell phone.
Still no answer.

I waited about 15 minutes and tried again.
She answered her cell and told me to sit tight and she'd come get me.

I waited.

In an air conditioned building.

In a chair.

For two hours.

On the clock.

Well, technically, I was only on the clock for an hour and a half of that, but that's not the point.

I asked God for a break. He gave me one that I'd never have thought to ask for.

I cast all my cares upon Him, and he cared FOR me.

Because He loves me.

And that's how He rolls.

Operation kill 'em with kindness

Romans 12: 17-21
17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

So tonight I began the operation. I wasn't really sure how it would be received. I turned my body perpendicular to my conveyor belt, and whenever I had a spare second, I reached over to the belt that runs behind where I stand. The packages come down a circular slide onto the belt, where they do not always land with the labels up. It takes a few seconds for each package to be flipped so the lable can be read and the person working the belt can decide where to push them down the next slide. Sometimes, it gets overwhelming because so many packages come at once and you have to flip, read, compute, and sometimes slide them all at the same time. So I decided to try something. I leaned over and flipped every package I could, whenever I could. This way when they reached Kris*, they were already visible. It cut down on his work considerably.
Then I started talking to Chelsea (amazing, tiny, machine girl) about how when she's out tomorrow and all next week, that Kris* and I will have to try to keep up with her job, and how I wasn't sure we were up to the challenge. I made sure to say it cheerfully, including Kris* in the comment, so he'd know I was counting on him. Then I turned on the charm. Whenever we had a quick second, I started talking to him. I asked him if he had another job, how long he'd been there, did he have kids, what was his favorite part of the job, commented that he didn't say much... Just small talk, really. And guess what!?!
Go ahead, guess.
He's been there for 23 years, he has done quite a few things out there, he doesn't have another job, working the one he has is enough BS for him to take, he sleeps in his other time, he doesn't have any kids, his favorite part of the job is the paycheck, and before the night was over he was helping me and Chelsea pick up packages that had been stacked in the walkway when the belts and slides were overloaded!
Now I have someone else to work on. Somehow I don't think charm will work with this one...

Zero

Apparently I have no tolerance for people who don't do their job.

Pay no attention to this plank in my eye, or the laundry needing done, or the dishes piled up....

Shut up, conscience!

As I was saying, people who stand around, looking very busy, while the rest of us bust our whatchamacallits, really, REALLY annoy me.

Don't worry, I'll tell you how I really feel.

I mean, seriously... There's a young lady who works on the same conveyor belt where I work. She runs all over the place zipping packages down the slide to their appropriate places. She runs up and down the belt, sliding packages hither and yon. She's amazing. She's tiny. She's a machine.

The guy who stands behind her, facing the opposite belt NEVER moves from the place he stands. He NEVER offers a hand when she is lifting an obviously heavy or cumbersome package.

I asked the young woman tonight if there was something wrong with Kris* (no offense, Chris, I pulled this name out of the sky). She tells me that he is kinda weird. He does the same thing every night. He comes in, he works until 2:30 and then leaves. No one questions him. Oh, and his daddy is Phred Smyth's* personal pilot.

Oh, now I get it.

So from now on, I am going to try to engage this man. I am going to give him EVERY opportunity to help out when I am in need of assistance.

It's how I roll.

Meanwhile, we have a certain lady on our team who is very similar, in that she does NO work. I find this absolutely unacceptable. But I don't know what I can possibly do about it. Tonight I tried to give her the opportunity to lift a finger and she told me that I was doing fine.

Whatever. I'm gonna pray for her.

And for me.

That I don't push the wrong person and end up in trouble. ;-)

*Spellings of actual names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
And also, so that a google search doesn't end me up in trouble with the big guy.

Who needs Jillian?

I'm serious when I say that FedEx kicks tail.

My tail.

And my feet, arms, hands, back...

*whine, whine, whine....*

You get the idea.

Let the beatings commense.

Let Me Hold You Longer

It's a weekend of lasts for me here.
I am so excited to be going back to work for a company that has so much to offer. I am eagerly anticipating getting back in the swing of things I already know how to do. I am looking forward to re-training and getting recertified for the many things I did when working there before.
But, lest it seem like I am simply bursting with glee at the changes heading my way, let me tell you. I am filled with trepidation and fear.
I will be leaving my family every day to go do something they do not participate in. I will be entering a world they have never seen and begin to speak of things they know not about.
I will need to organize and plan, which has never come easy for me. I will have to rely on my husband and children in a way I never have. I will be tired and sore and cranky. But I will get stronger. I will probably lose a little weight, even. I will work hard and feel a sense of accomplishment.
Meanwhile, I'm going to go lie down with my son for a few minutes on this last weekend I have before becoming a working mom.
And I will try very hard not to cry.

These boots are made for...

When you start at FedEx, you never know where you will end up. The whole operation is massive, and the hub is acres upon acres.
The job may take you inside, where you move packages, or it may take you outside, where you move containers of packages.
And if you get lucky, you may get to do both.
But whatever the case, the safety shoes you are required to wear will need to last you for a while. It is wise to choose well. I chose a pair of waterproof ones.
Another of my fellow hirees was looking around at the selection, and in my desire to help a girl out, since I've been here before, I suggested to her that she select waterproof shoes, as well.
"What for?"
"Just in case they get wet."
"Well, I ain't working outside!"
I just looked at her in amazement. There is no way she knows where she's going.
I told her she will be outside if they assign her to an outside position.
I don't see her making it.

She works hard for the money

So, anyway....

I found the number after rummaging through the caller ID and dialed it. The nice lady on the other end transferred me to the lady who manages the night shift applications.

And you know what? She was nice, too. She told me that the hiring session for that week was full, but to call her on Wednesday this week and she'd get me into Friday's session.

But then Monday, while I was minding my own business, floating around in the pool by myself while everyone I know and love is at camp, the cell phone rang.

"Mrs. Thomas, this is (insert name here) from FedEx. I was calling about your application and wondered if you were still interested in working for us."

"Absolutely! Can I start tomorrow?"

"Well, almost. Come in Wednesday morning for a hiring session. Bring two forms of ID and...."

So as of this morning, I am gainfully employed by the great company known as FedEx.

Yippee!!!