Friday, July 23, 2010

Operation kill 'em with kindness

Romans 12: 17-21
17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

So tonight I began the operation. I wasn't really sure how it would be received. I turned my body perpendicular to my conveyor belt, and whenever I had a spare second, I reached over to the belt that runs behind where I stand. The packages come down a circular slide onto the belt, where they do not always land with the labels up. It takes a few seconds for each package to be flipped so the lable can be read and the person working the belt can decide where to push them down the next slide. Sometimes, it gets overwhelming because so many packages come at once and you have to flip, read, compute, and sometimes slide them all at the same time. So I decided to try something. I leaned over and flipped every package I could, whenever I could. This way when they reached Kris*, they were already visible. It cut down on his work considerably.
Then I started talking to Chelsea (amazing, tiny, machine girl) about how when she's out tomorrow and all next week, that Kris* and I will have to try to keep up with her job, and how I wasn't sure we were up to the challenge. I made sure to say it cheerfully, including Kris* in the comment, so he'd know I was counting on him. Then I turned on the charm. Whenever we had a quick second, I started talking to him. I asked him if he had another job, how long he'd been there, did he have kids, what was his favorite part of the job, commented that he didn't say much... Just small talk, really. And guess what!?!
Go ahead, guess.
He's been there for 23 years, he has done quite a few things out there, he doesn't have another job, working the one he has is enough BS for him to take, he sleeps in his other time, he doesn't have any kids, his favorite part of the job is the paycheck, and before the night was over he was helping me and Chelsea pick up packages that had been stacked in the walkway when the belts and slides were overloaded!
Now I have someone else to work on. Somehow I don't think charm will work with this one...

Thursday, July 22, 2010


Apparently I have no tolerance for people who don't do their job.

Pay no attention to this plank in my eye, or the laundry needing done, or the dishes piled up....

Shut up, conscience!

As I was saying, people who stand around, looking very busy, while the rest of us bust our whatchamacallits, really, REALLY annoy me.

Don't worry, I'll tell you how I really feel.

I mean, seriously... There's a young lady who works on the same conveyor belt where I work. She runs all over the place zipping packages down the slide to their appropriate places. She runs up and down the belt, sliding packages hither and yon. She's amazing. She's tiny. She's a machine.

The guy who stands behind her, facing the opposite belt NEVER moves from the place he stands. He NEVER offers a hand when she is lifting an obviously heavy or cumbersome package.

I asked the young woman tonight if there was something wrong with Kris* (no offense, Chris, I pulled this name out of the sky). She tells me that he is kinda weird. He does the same thing every night. He comes in, he works until 2:30 and then leaves. No one questions him. Oh, and his daddy is Phred Smyth's* personal pilot.

Oh, now I get it.

So from now on, I am going to try to engage this man. I am going to give him EVERY opportunity to help out when I am in need of assistance.

It's how I roll.

Meanwhile, we have a certain lady on our team who is very similar, in that she does NO work. I find this absolutely unacceptable. But I don't know what I can possibly do about it. Tonight I tried to give her the opportunity to lift a finger and she told me that I was doing fine.

Whatever. I'm gonna pray for her.

And for me.

That I don't push the wrong person and end up in trouble. ;-)

*Spellings of actual names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
And also, so that a google search doesn't end me up in trouble with the big guy.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Who needs Jillian?

I'm serious when I say that FedEx kicks tail.

My tail.

And my feet, arms, hands, back...

*whine, whine, whine....*

You get the idea.

Let the beatings commense.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Move over Brad, Denzel, and Johnny Depp!

You have nothing on this sexiest man alive!

Yesterday afternoon, as I was walking down the hall to put away the freshly folded laundry, I heard curious sounds coming from my bedroom.

I opened the door, and there HE was...


Vacuuming the floor of the room he had cleaned...

Without even being asked.

"What can I do for YOU?"

Mmmm, Mmmm, MMMM!

Now, THAT'S sexy!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Beginning again

Back in 1993, you know, when I was 12, I first started working for FedEx as a handler. It was brutal work. I started in the very toughest place of all: the input. This is where packages are removed from the containers and placed on conveyor belts where they are whisked away to primary sort. I didn't stay in that area any longer than necessary, as I learned pretty quickly that you can bid on other jobs, which are less.... vigorous. I worked all over the place in the five years I was there: inside, outside, in the dangerous goods area, outbound, high security, whatever... I went to as many training classes as I could get my various managers to approve, gaining knowledge and certification to do pretty much everything there is to do in the entire operation, except a few things. I was even in management training.

Then I had a baby.

Twelve years and another child later, I am starting all over.

I can't even begin to tell you how terrifying it is this time. For one thing, I'm MUCH older this time. For another thing, I'm not in the shape I was in when I was, ahem, twelve. My knees, feet, and back are telling me stories now. When I try to go to bed, they have to let me know just how much they protest this thing that I am doing to them.

Thankfully, and I DO mean that I have spent the past few days thanking God, I was not placed in an input. I managed to score an outbound manager who has several flights. She graciously put me in a place of minimal brutality, and I am ever so grateful. It's still hard work, but I know just how much harder it could be, so I have been very thankful.

Technology has changed, but the basic operation is the same. Packages come in; they are sorted; they go back out.

Meanwhile, I'm getting a good workout in, drinking plenty of water, trying to figure out what to eat and when, so as not to end up with the monster headache I had after the first night. The kids are learning to cope for a while without me in the morning, and Hailey has really bent over backward to be kind and gentle to me.