Are You Kidding Me??

Some people are just born stupid. Some of us are a little naive at times, and some of us are more than their share of, um, scatter-brained. I refuse to admit where I fall on this scale, in the effort not to incriminate myself.
Okay, fine. I admit I am quite scattered, and have to run back in the house (or send a kid, as it is easier, and doesn't require me to unbuckle my already buckled seat belt.) for something I forgot, that I will likely need while I am away from home. This might include my cell phone, Zune, sunglasses, jacket, water bottle, the other person still getting ready, etc.
I frequently set things down upon arriving home and forget where I have put them, prompting a frantic search when I am attempting to go somewhere the next time. Keys, phone, purse, jacket, water bottle, etc...
And then there are the times when the kids, in their effort to "clean" their zones, will pick up said items, and stash them in the oddest places. Most of the time, they don't even remember where they have stashed the cannot-do-without item, and there is a full-alert lock down until the item surfaces.
Thus my morning began yesterday.
I woke up at noon, and while I was sleeping, Shawn and a handy-man I know had begun the project of re-flooring the kitchen/living room. (details on that later) I have worked with this handy-man on many occasions with my mom, so I feel very comfortable around him. So I got up, and was a little surprised to find that he had brought along a helper. The job is really big, so it made sense, but the guy was a stranger to me.
ANYway, I introduced myself and explained that I was sleeping until noon because I work nights, so he didn't think I was lazy, or something, when Shawn came back in to tell me that we needed to go pick out grout.
I threw on my shoes, grabbed my purse, and checked to make sure I had my phone, so the kids could call me when one of them was touching the other, which is when they feel the need to call me.
No phone.
Now, where did I lay that thing when I came in this morning?
Hmm. I'll call it.
*Picks up house phone and dials the number*
"Hi, this is Diane...."
Straight to voicemail. Great.
Then it hit me. I'd been having problems having to re-boot it, because I never powered it off, so I decided to power it down this morning. I set it right next to the stove, on the clean kitchen counter. And left it there. Where it wasn't anymore. Suddenly, Shawn remembered seeing it there. The kids adamantly denied stashing it somewhere, but we looked in all the usual places, on top the microwave, on top the refrigerator, in the bathroom, on my night stand, on the piano, fireplace, charging station, in my purse, in the refrigerator, pantry, microwave, my purse again...
It was just gone.
Then I realized there was one person in my house I didn't know, and I told Shawn, "I don't know that guy."
Shawn said I had to ask the handy-man if there was a chance...
So I did.
"Um, I have to ask you a really hard question, and I really don't want to ask it. Is there any chance your helper picked up my phone?"
"I don't think so, but I'll ask."
*Pokes his head out the door*
"Hey, have you seen her phone?"
"What does it look like?"
*I poke my head out and say*
"It's an iPhone in a red case."
"Nope, haven't seen it."
"It was on the kitchen counter. Are you sure you didn't see it at all?"
"Nope."
At this time, I was pretty certain, but short of searching him, there was no way to know anything, so I continued the search, and left the handy-man with his helper. I could hear the handy-man through the door, but not what he was saying.
Moments later, the helper came back in the house and went into the bathroom. I waited. When he came out, Shawn and I went in to check. We each opened a drawer. Then I saw it. Stashed in a candle on the counter.
Um, no.
Needless to say, he was escorted off the property, in complete denial of the deed, and my trusty handy-man came back with his son-in-law, whom I have had the pleasure of working with and trust, and the job was resumed.
The end.

In Which We Screw the Customer and Treat Them Like They Are Stupid

I know everyone is cutting back.

I understand stretching things to make ends meet.

I know times are hard.

But please, oh, please do NOT add water to the syrup in a RESTAURANT!

We went to IHOP for breakfast on our lovely snow day. We ordered pancakes. (cuz that's what you do there. It's International House of Pancakes, you know)
I asked for the syrup to be passed. The little air bubble jiggled around much too freely. When I told the waitress that it was watered down, she frowned and said, "Not again!"

So I decided to speak to the manager about it. That guy must've thought I was a complete idiot, because he told me the bottles must get water in them when they are washed. I just looked at him with the most serious look and agreed. I'm sure he thinks he fooled me, but the joke is on him. This is a video of the blueberry and butter pecan syrups. The waitress took the old fashioned away.
This is the IHOP in Millington, TN, in case you didn't know.

If the embedded video won't play, you can see it on youtube here.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

On Memorial Day, when I hopped in the car to head over to a friend's house, I reached for my Zune to crank up the tunes.

It wasn't there.

I went into the house to see which kid had helped themselves to MY personal property, and after hearing the denials, realized it wasn't the only thing missing. My GPS, Shawn's GPS, the (very expensive) DVD system, the earrings I wore in my wedding, Shawn's computer diagnostic tool, and various chargers and electrical cords were missing, too.

Thankfully, I had not left my purse in my car. (Shawn had been on me about leaving it out there in our driveway, even though we live in a very quiet, country neighborhood.)

The doors to both vehicles were left unlocked. We have not worried about anything being stolen.

We were wrong.

It pains me to know that someone walked right up to our home and took things that didn't belong to them. Things that we had worked hard to purchase, that meant something to us.

This is the epitome of disrepect, in my opinion. Disrespect for people's privacy, personal space, and personal belongings.

But it is also disrespect for themselves, as well. They are perfectly capable of earning the money it takes to own such items. Of course, I understand that it wasn't the items themselves that the thieves were after, but whatever money they could get for selling them, or trading them. I get it. I know how it works.

But through it all, I can try to teach my kids a lesson.

Do not steal. Aside from the fact that the Bible calls it sin, the victims are hurt. They feel violated. They are mad, sad, and hurt. They will spend time being afraid.

Respect others and don't steal. Respect yourself and don't steal. Respect God and DON'T STEAL!

NEED.TO.VENT

Two weeks ago I called MIL (whose house we rent) to tell her that two appliances were in need of repair. No problem, because they were both purchased with service packages from Sears. Of course the refrigerator guy and the dishwasher guy are different people, so I looked funny to the drivers by who saw two repair vans in my driveway at one time. Refrigerator took all of twenty minutes and four hundred dollars. (which I didn't have to pay) Dishwasher, on the other hand, was a different story. It was broke. Parts had to be ordered. Rescheduled to Friday. Wait for parts to be delivered. Friday comes, repair dude comes back. Pulls out the dishwasher, fiddles with it for thirty minutes.
"Mrs. Thomas, I'm afraid the part they sent was defective. I'm going to order a new one shipped emergency status, and reschedule you for next Tuesday between 8-12."
Tuesday comes around, no show. 12:15 I call Sears.
"Mrs. Thomas, we don't have you on the schedule today. There's not a technician in your area."
After an earful of my unhappiness, rescheduled for Thursday between 8-12.
Today, which is Thursday, no show. 12:02 I call Sears.
Get shuffled around, hung up on twice.
Finally a call from the tech. "I just arrived at a job, I have two more after, then you're next."
12:25 I call Sears again. No help. Spend forty five minutes on hold. Does anybody know that patience is NOT my strong suit? I'm playing solitaire on the computer to keep my nerves from completely exploding. The veins in my neck are pulsing, and I can hear my heartbeat in my ears. Finally, Sears lady comes back on and tells me to expect a call from the customer service hotline immediately. Have they called?
NO!
They don't care that this is the third day that I've waited for them. One of the ladies spilled the beans and told me that the tech was having lunch.
WHAT?
"Well, Mrs. Thomas, they need to eat sometime."
SCHEDULE IT ON YOUR TIME, NOT MINE!!!!!!!
I understand he needs to eat, but it's not my fault that he was scheduled too many jobs in the morning.
They don't care that this is my third day waiting around for someone to show up.
They don't care that we have been hand washing dishes for two weeks.
I know that's stupid to be angry about having to hand wash dishes, I used to do it all the time, but I have a dishwasher with a service contract, people!
Could I get some service?
GRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!