Update...

I'm feeling pretty uninspired these days, so I haven't been writing anything.

I did get drafted into my first mission trip with the youth, but I already told you about that. I had an amazing time. The kids were pretty good, and the leadership was exceptional. We have a group of college kids who feel called into ministry and who work with the youth groups of our church. These interns are really on fire for the Lord, and so cool that the kids do whatever they ask. I mean, they are like the cool big brothers and sisters that they don't want to disappoint.

Which works!

The kitchen duties seemed overwhelming at first, but everything just flowed. I had a great team, and we worked together well. The kitchen was a little under-supplied, but the serving facilities were awesome! I got some good intel from our own kitchen lady, and she steered me in the right direction. Everything she said was spot on, and it was like she'd been doing this for 30 years or more. (she has...)

And the comments from the kids were so encouraging! "This is the best thing I ever ate!" was something I heard more than once. One of the interns declared the food the best camp food he'd ever had, then informed me that he'd been to camp A LOT!

Makes this kitchen lady smile, just thinking about it.

Meanwhile, God had a few things to show me while I was there. He took me out of my comfort zone to give me a little perspective on my own circumstances. Gave me a word just for me.

I needed to hear from Him, and He spoke. Revealed some personal sin to me, and told me He's gonna use me to do some work. So I've been praying a lot and staying in a general attitude of willingness to be used.

I decided to go to the church gym yesterday and get busy walking and rope jumping again, when I was snagged by the new trainer. Seems this lady was told by the Lord to help out anyone who would come, and she took my presence for willingness.

Stink.

So now I'm going daily at 10 and doing 30 minutes of cardio and about an hour of weight training.

I say that like I have been doing it for weeks, instead of two days.

Hey, commitment can come after such a short time!

'Scuse me while I hobble off to the hot tub...

Outside the Comfort Zone

I'm not really sure what happened. It really just sneaked (snuck??) up on me.

I got a call from a friend, who is organizing youth functions for our church.

"Diane, I have a need, and your name just keeps coming to mind. I was wondering if you would be willing to work on the cooking team for the mid-high mission trip next week."

Hmmm. Let me think. I am pretty free these days, but I have a Pampered Chef party next Friday at my house... (which my husband is secretly looking forward to, because it means the house will be clean...)

We will be back in time for that? Well, let me see if I can arrange childcare.

*Childcare mysteriously falls into place...

Okay, I'm in.

"Good, you will be feeding fifty people, and I need a menu and grocery list as soon as possible."

WHAT?!?!?! I thought I was just going to be HELPING, not PLANNING!!

I am NOT A PLANNER!!

*Groan... opens excel to build a menu spreadsheet...

Side kick

Okay, so you probably noticed that I have been missing for a little while. I have been having a family crisis. And since most of you are facebook friends, you likely already know of which I speak. But just in case someone is out of the loop, I'll link you to my sister's blog and you can read her version. It's her story, really. I'm just the BFF, who has jumped in as hero support.

I make a good side-kick.

Hmm... gonna have to think of a good side-kick name...

Meanwhile, I'm stewing on the sidelines with a few good zingers, which the fact that I'm trying to do the upright thing, won't allow me to scream.

We aren't really sure what to expect next, but since I'm really bad "at this game" of remembering details, even five minutes after things happen, (according to my sister, :) I have written a detailed account, for any event which should require me to recall stuff.

Thankfully, my kids are getting old enough to see what this has done to our family. I have shielded them from the truth, because it is so hard to understand, for children. Shoot! I'm almost 40, and I still don't get it. But this time, they have seen it all. They have seen the destruction and the pain. They have witnessed the brokenness and heartache. But the best thing, is that they have seen that real love doesn't always come from family. Sometimes it comes from friends and sometimes it comes from people you barely know.

And God has been with us through it all. They have seen me rely on Him in a way I never have before, giving glory to God all the way. What more could I ask for?

Lava Rock Girl.

I'm going with that one.

SO busy!

It is almost noon and what have I done today? I have been outside for a walk/run and taken a nap. I have read a bit and facebooked a bit. I have prayed for a while and caught up on a few blogs I enjoy. Basically, I have done nothing. At this very moment my children are watching their second hour of television, and their brains are turning to mush.
It 's not like I have nothing to do, mind you.
The house is a mess.
The boat needs to be finished getting clean.
The laundry should be going.
The dogs need bathed.
The wallpaper in Caleb's room needs to be finished being stripped.
I have guests coming over for dinner, and I'm not really sure what we are having yet.
I should really get busy.
After I lay out...

The Testimony of the Dogs

All day today the dogs have been following me around the house. They are freaking out at the flurry of activity. The fact that I am wearing shoes bears witness that I am ready to leave them, and I have left them a lot in the past ten months. They are used to me sitting on the couch under a blanket whenever I am home, so watching me scurry around doing laundry and dishes is rocking their little world. They'll get over it.

And..... I'm back!

Wow! Today is literally the first day of the rest of my life.
Yesterday I told Caleb I was so excited for today. "Why?" He wondered...
Because I get to do laundry. And dishes. And scrub the toilets. And mow the grass. And chop some wood. And. And. And...
Yes, after ten months of diverting my attention to the cause of paying tuition for Hailey, I am returning to my assigned role of stay-at-home-mom and homeschool teacher.
I'd like to think that I am wiser. I know for sure that I am stronger. (and thinner) :-)
When I emerge from the mountain of chores that have awaited my attention for so long, I will share what led me to this place, and details of the growing I have done this past school year.
I have missed you all, almost as much as I have missed my children.
But not quite. ;-)

Crow~ It's What's for Dinner

I feel a ramble coming on.
Yesterday I was the object of a virtual girl-gang fight, and it was absolutely surreal. Not only did I not see it coming, I didn't think it was warranted at all. But in the end, I caved. I didn't want to. I still don't want to. But I did it for Christians and for the sake of doing the right thing. In spite of the fact that I think the instigator of the mess was completely in the wrong. Way to take one for the Lord, eh? Well, let me tell ya. The fact that I am still not happy about eating it should show just how much of a hypocrite I feel like.
Sometimes doing the right thing TOTALLY SUCKS!!!
I told Shawn, after I ended it, that it is almost like the fight I'm in for my health. I don't want to eat the salad. I want the cake. But the cake is only for immediate satisfaction. So I put on my big girl panties and eat the salad. All the while, grumbling under my breath that the cake would have been much yummier. I didn't do the right thing because I wanted to, I did it because I HAD to. So what if I don't want to? The result is the same. I am fed and have the results of a good decision under my belt.
SNORT-literally!
Meanwhile, I feel battered emotionally by someone I have kept contact with over the years, solely in the hopes that she will be drawn to the things of the Lord. I know I'm not a perfect example of Christianity. HELLO? I'm more than a hundred pounds overweight! Somewhere I have idols that are quite obvious.
I wanted so badly to lash out with the pain and defensiveness that I felt. In fact, I still feel it. I spent the whole night at work feverishly praying for forgiveness and the right attitude. I'm still not there. I have moments of forgiveness and peace, but then I fall back into defense mode and wanna go kick her tail. What? I'm human, and she attacked me publicly! But, for her sake, and for the sake of her friends, who were right on board for the Diane-and-all-Christians-out-there bashing session, I apologized for offending her and removed the offensive material.
Maybe tomorrow I will stop being mad about it.

Are You Kidding Me??

Some people are just born stupid. Some of us are a little naive at times, and some of us are more than their share of, um, scatter-brained. I refuse to admit where I fall on this scale, in the effort not to incriminate myself.
Okay, fine. I admit I am quite scattered, and have to run back in the house (or send a kid, as it is easier, and doesn't require me to unbuckle my already buckled seat belt.) for something I forgot, that I will likely need while I am away from home. This might include my cell phone, Zune, sunglasses, jacket, water bottle, the other person still getting ready, etc.
I frequently set things down upon arriving home and forget where I have put them, prompting a frantic search when I am attempting to go somewhere the next time. Keys, phone, purse, jacket, water bottle, etc...
And then there are the times when the kids, in their effort to "clean" their zones, will pick up said items, and stash them in the oddest places. Most of the time, they don't even remember where they have stashed the cannot-do-without item, and there is a full-alert lock down until the item surfaces.
Thus my morning began yesterday.
I woke up at noon, and while I was sleeping, Shawn and a handy-man I know had begun the project of re-flooring the kitchen/living room. (details on that later) I have worked with this handy-man on many occasions with my mom, so I feel very comfortable around him. So I got up, and was a little surprised to find that he had brought along a helper. The job is really big, so it made sense, but the guy was a stranger to me.
ANYway, I introduced myself and explained that I was sleeping until noon because I work nights, so he didn't think I was lazy, or something, when Shawn came back in to tell me that we needed to go pick out grout.
I threw on my shoes, grabbed my purse, and checked to make sure I had my phone, so the kids could call me when one of them was touching the other, which is when they feel the need to call me.
No phone.
Now, where did I lay that thing when I came in this morning?
Hmm. I'll call it.
*Picks up house phone and dials the number*
"Hi, this is Diane...."
Straight to voicemail. Great.
Then it hit me. I'd been having problems having to re-boot it, because I never powered it off, so I decided to power it down this morning. I set it right next to the stove, on the clean kitchen counter. And left it there. Where it wasn't anymore. Suddenly, Shawn remembered seeing it there. The kids adamantly denied stashing it somewhere, but we looked in all the usual places, on top the microwave, on top the refrigerator, in the bathroom, on my night stand, on the piano, fireplace, charging station, in my purse, in the refrigerator, pantry, microwave, my purse again...
It was just gone.
Then I realized there was one person in my house I didn't know, and I told Shawn, "I don't know that guy."
Shawn said I had to ask the handy-man if there was a chance...
So I did.
"Um, I have to ask you a really hard question, and I really don't want to ask it. Is there any chance your helper picked up my phone?"
"I don't think so, but I'll ask."
*Pokes his head out the door*
"Hey, have you seen her phone?"
"What does it look like?"
*I poke my head out and say*
"It's an iPhone in a red case."
"Nope, haven't seen it."
"It was on the kitchen counter. Are you sure you didn't see it at all?"
"Nope."
At this time, I was pretty certain, but short of searching him, there was no way to know anything, so I continued the search, and left the handy-man with his helper. I could hear the handy-man through the door, but not what he was saying.
Moments later, the helper came back in the house and went into the bathroom. I waited. When he came out, Shawn and I went in to check. We each opened a drawer. Then I saw it. Stashed in a candle on the counter.
Um, no.
Needless to say, he was escorted off the property, in complete denial of the deed, and my trusty handy-man came back with his son-in-law, whom I have had the pleasure of working with and trust, and the job was resumed.
The end.

The Cruise in Retrospect

If I had to express how I feel about the cruise, I'd simply say this.

I had a fabulous time.

I was pampered.

I was cared for.

I was relaxed.

I rested.

I enjoyed myself.

That said, I could take or leave the cruise scene. I enjoyed not being responsible for food, cleaning, or childcare for a week. But we don't drink, we don't gamble, we don't care which man has the sexiest legs or the best belly flop. We don't enjoy suggestive humor all that much, and we were never really into the Beetles. And who knew that karaoke is really just an excuse to get drunk and make an idiot of yourself?!?!

We don't have money to island hop in search of the best deal on diamonds or tanzanite, so shopping isn't really our bag.

Renting a boogie board and some fins is more our speed. Playing frisbee on the beach is fun and relaxing. Watching Caleb roll around in the surf and sand is entertaining, and taking Hailey to have her hair braided by an island local suits us just fine. Touring an old military fort is educational, and shooting the breeze with the family is great.

Snuggling in a hammock grove with my sweetie is cozy, and the combined sounds of the ocean and the swaying palm trees is enchanting.

Riding ATVs up mountains and back down through sub-tropical forests is awesome, as is sampling the various native fruits and foods of a certain sulphurous island. Snorkeling around a tropical reef on a rainy day is amazing.

The color of the sea is positively alive. I am addicted to it now.

I am pretty sure that I could live comfortably on the beach where Mary and Harley got married. I hope we get to return and revisit some of our destinations someday. Meanwhile, I have tons of pictures to enjoy and remember.

Free from Fraud

She is a fraud.

A faker.

She dons her facade like a cloak for the night and fools everyone.

But they are beginning to suspect the truth.

That she is not what she seems.

Her feigned strength is fading, and she falters.

How long will it be before she fails?

Before she flings far the trappings of the role she has mistakenly assumed?

And embraces freedom?

To be who she was made to be?

To function fully as she was fashioned?