My son might be pregnant

Caleb just asked me if he could have pickles with his lunch...

Then he asked for ice cream.

I have to wonder...

Superfluity of naughtiness

God snuck up behind me last night while I was laughing at funny stories of our retiring pastor, and bonked me on the head with the Bible.
In all fairness, He's been telling me for a while now that I am spending too much time online, while my bathtub grows a pink-ish layer of mildew, and my kids are finishing up the school year.
Shawn will be slapping on a back pack in three weeks and traipsing off to school every other weekend, (while working his other weekends, just to keep the money rolling in) so I'm gonna have to peel myself away from facebook and mow the grass occasionally.
The kids are starting to have better attitudes, so I can't very well make them clean out the pantry or plastic ware cabinets, when that sort of chore has been earmarked for discipinary action.
So, the long and short of it is, I need to get up off my ample hiney and get back to work. You know, the job I have that I don't get paid to do. (with money, I mean. I get paid in other ways, of course... I'm being funny here, not complaining! sheesh!)

In other news, this weekend we turned on the A/C just for laughs, because after having to replace the heater, the water heater, the stove, and the dishwasher (without the home-owner's warranty helping out AT. ALL.) we knew that there was no chance of it working, and seriously wondered if it would just burst into flames and burn down the house in the process. But, wonder of all wonders... it WORKED! It didn't burst into flames, resulting in a devastating house fire, turning into a forest fire, taking out the neighborhood in the process! In fact, it actually cooled the house down, and held it at a steady 71 degrees.
Praise be to the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob!

Amen.

Now, about that pink-ish mildew...

Chocolate bandit

Night before last, I heard a ruckus out on the deck. I thought Shawn must be stumbling around in the dark, so I did the kind thing and switched on the light.
Perched atop the grill, just right outside the back door was a very surprised racoon, trying desperately to retain his hold on a mug of burned chocolate I had put there earlier. He just had this look in his eyes, that said,
"You don't see me. If I don't move, you can't see me. Must. Not. Drop. Chocolate!"
All the while, the mug was slipping out of his grasp, and about to fall to the deck. Surprisingly enough, it didn't even break when it fell.

Guess What!

Guess what I'm doing on the Fourth of July!

Be green with envy!

I can't wait!

In case you missed it...

Grilling Goodness # 24

Well, it's a day late, but not a dollar short...

Time for another Grilling Goodness.

Let's do this thingy!

1. Do you prefer reality tv or dramas or comedies?

It seems like I watch more reality TV than anything else: Survivor, The Biggest Loser, The Amazing Race, Sell This House, etc.

2. If you could have free cosmetic surgery, what would you have done?

Without question, it would be a tummy tuck. Or a butt reduction. Or a thigh reduction. Or lipo-suction. Pretty much anything below my shoulders... (except my b00bs. They've already been done.)

3. What are you itching to get but you have 'bitten the bullet'?

Oh, so many things, like azaleas, a chaise lounge for my deck, a motor for my driver's side window (which is broken), an air conditioner unit for my house, a new roof...

4. Do you have a bad habit that you hope your children don't pick up?

Um, yelling comes to mind.

5. What was your favorite meal growing up?

Wow. I can't really pick just one. We had some pretty yummy stuff, and I do still make some of them. The first thing that pops into my head is cream steak. And now I need to go to the store and buy the ingredients, cuz I want some tonight.

6. What meal did you have as a youngster that you don't have as an adult?

Liver-n-onions. Blech! Yuck! Gag! Puke! Vomit! Scrape tongue with serrated edged knife! Brush teeth for two days!

7. What is your earliest memory of a "vacation"? Where'd you go?

Being a product of divorce, my sister and I flew to see our dad twice a year. Vacation was usually with him. I think the earliest "vacation" I had was going to Six Flags over Chicago with him and his wife. We stopped at her mom's house first, and she told us where we were going and gave us towels, because we would get wet at some point.

8. What was the "Best Thing" you ever got for Christmas, before age 12?

I don't remember much about Christmases of my childhood. Like Tina, I guess I block out memories from then. But I do remember a rocking chair. Mom bought it used and repaired and restored it. Later, when I found the extra materials from it, I realized the truth about Santa.

Poor Zacchie!

Well, cr@p! It looks like Zaccheus has Legg-Calve-Perthes Disease. It is in the very early stages, and we will be managing it for a while with anti-inflamatory drugs and joint support suppliments.

Here's what I found when I googled it:

"Avascular necrosis of the femoral head, aseptic femoral head necrosis, or Legg-Calve-Perthes disease is a disorder of the blood supply to the femoral head, the "ball" of the hip joint. It usually occurs in miniature and toy breeds of dogs between the ages of four months and a year of age in its classic form but sometimes occurs as a traumatic problem in older dogs or bigger breeds. It causes death of the bone which leads to arthritis of the hip."
"Femoral head necrosis is a painful process and may be a cause of subtle lameness to total lameness affecting one or both rear legs. Some dogs are able to recover on their own with just rest and pain relief but many dogs require surgical removal of the femoral head (femoral head ostectomy) for good long term pain relief. This can be done on both sides, if necessary, in the small dogs who have this problem."

Unfortunately, surgery is not an option for us financially right now, but Doc says he wouldn't even recommend it today if we could. He's got at least a year, maybe two or three before he will be advanced enough to need it. By then, hopefully we can be ready.

Gardening for beginners

We planted some things in our flower bed.

They are not flowers.

They are "straw" berries.

Okay, there are actual strawberries under there, but I didn't want to lose where exactly we had planted them. It wasn't until I thought of something colorful with which to mark them that I saw the humor in my choice.

Wordless Wednesday (Easter 2009)

So, he wanted to know...

Who got in trouble?




That's what Shawn asked me when he came home from work and saw this:

It was Caleb, by the way. ; )

(Dude, I need to go grocery shopping! Oh, wait! I did that last night.)

What SHE said...

http://www.mycharmingkids.net/2009/04/truth-about-easter.html

Have a great Easter, y'all!

If-then

I am a yeller. I believe I have said it before, and I will say it again.

I am a yeller.

I come from a long line of yellers, so I come by it honestly.

I do not want to be a yeller.

A couple of months ago, at our homeschool meeting, a very sweet lady spoke about homeschooling with a meek and quiet spirit.

Whatever

One of the tools she spoke about is a chart created by Doorposts. It's called an If-Then chart. It lists specific offenses, gives a Bible reference for why it is offensive, and leaves space for parents to fill in the consequences of the actions.

I looked for it online today, and decided I could make one for our family. Hailey has alread declared her hatred for it. But I had just had to impose a 'then' on her.

This takes the guesswork out of discipline. It sounds like a no-brainer, but many times, in the heat of the moment, and colored by a surge of anger, I can be a little irrational when meting out discipline. (You are grounded for five years!)

This takes the 'bad guy' out of who they see when they look at me. It helps them see that they have chosen a 'then' when they chose to 'if', if you get what I'm saying. It also helps to see that specific behavior is sin, and where in the Bible God speaks against it.

And I have some very creative additional chores already lined up, mwahaha!

Hailey has already cleaned out the plastic ware cabinet.

Grilling Goodness # 23

Okay, it's Friday again. You all know what Friday means, right?
Yep, another delicious, nutricious, 0 points, fat-free, calorie-free Grilling Goodness.
Play along, if you like. Just check in with Tina, at Golden Goodness, sign in with Mr. Linky, copy and paste the questions to your own blog, and voila! You're Grillin'!

1. What's one of the best things you've seen lately?

My hubby walking in the room with my keys, which we had been searching high and low, all morning for. He found them in the PANTRY. I swear I didn't put them there!

2. Has Spring brought you something you don't like?

The neighbor sitting outside, silently watching me work, until I happened to notice him sitting there. **creepy**

3. What kind of sandwiches do you like?

Depends where the sandwich comes from. I like french dips from McAlister's, BBQ sandwiches at the fair, PB&J's here at home, and I like a good grilled cheese sandwich once in a while. I am picky about bread, though. I like white bread, but I don't mind sourdough or wheat.

4. Do you carry GermX with you at all times?

I have a bottle of it in my purse, and pull it out occasionally. I'd rather use good old soap-and-water, but when it's not available, GermX it is.

5. Does each person in your house have their own hamper or do you have a central hamper for everyone?

We each have a basket in our rooms, that every few days we sort into the divided hamper in the laundry room. Unless you mean Caleb, in which case, I have to tell him to change clothes and shower and stuff. If I'm not watchful, he'll wear the same clothes day and night. EWWW! He's such a BOY!

6. How often do you balance your checkbook?

Not as often as I should. Sometimes I'd rather not know how bad it is. Just kidding! I keep up with all of our accounts online, and regularly monitor them, which is why the bank hasn't earned any overdraft fees from me in a while.

7. What's the hardest thing you've done lately?

Realizing that I'm failing in the Mom department right now. I have a problem with consistency, and I want to bail on homeschooling sometimes, when I KNOW that I know that God wants this from me for one more year (at least).

8. Are you a texter?

I used to do it more where I lived before. But my service at the new house stinks, and I only text when I'm out, now. = ( But my sister and I frequently text back and forth during choir practice. = )

I'm so glad...

...that I was actually working in the kitchen when I realized the dishwasher was pouring water all over the floor.
So I grabbed a few towels out of the laundry hamper and situated them under and around the ailing machine until it finished its cycle. Basically, I washed a load of towels and dishes with one stone.
How cool is that?
I'm a genius.
That's why I make the big bucks.

This proud momma moment brought to you by...

Last year when the kids took their satandardized (totally a typo, but too funny to delete) standardized testing, Caleb didn't score well on reading comprehension. In fact, he was far enough below average to cause me a little concern. This year he has picked up reading, and has gained a lot of ground.

Tomorrow they are going up to the school for this year's round of tests, so we are doing a little test prep work.

Caleb answered nearly every question correctly on the reading comprehension section I gave him. But halfway through his work I realized I had made a big mistake. I chose to keep it to myself until he was finished, just to see how he did.

I had given him Hailey's pages.

She's in the fifth grade.

He's in the third.

Tardy WW (Who's behind those Foster Grants?)