About That Cliffhanger

I know I left you hanging, and I didn't mean to. I just didn't know the answer to my dilemma until today.

I have been homeschooling for some time now. In fact, this is our fifth year. I have loved it. I have enjoyed it. I have hated it. I have groaned some mornings when the sun rose. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions sometimes.

But there was one thing I was always sure of until now. This was what God wanted me to do. This year I have been struggling with a certain young lady, who shall remain nameless. She has whined, complained, thrown tantrums, begged, pleaded, etc. to get out of doing school. I am worn down by the battle. And since I am easily swayed by all such methods, this year has been very difficult.

But all that changed with a single text. Someone in my sister's office quit. Someone who did a job that I knew I could do. So I hit my knees and sent out prayer requests to my friends, asking God what to do. If it was time to send the kids to private school, I needed a job that would pay for it. I have been a stay-at-home-mom since Hailey was a tiny baby. I don't have many marketable skills. Besides, I didn't want to leave my cushy life as a kept woman. But I needed to do what God wanted me to do, so I prayed and dove into the Word, looking for an answer.

I got one.

It wasn't the one I expected, but since it's even better, I'm okay with that.

Shawn got two job offers in one week. He wasn't even seeking employment from these companies, but they came looking for him. The first offer was good, but the second offer was too good to pass up. He accepted it and will start in a few weeks.

It will pay for Hailey's tuition and I will stay home, continuing to homeschool Caleb.

Isn't God good?!?!

**Lest anyone think I'm banishing my daughter, I think she will flourish in school. She needs interaction with other kids more than she has in the past, and she filters her attitude better with other teachers. I wish she would with me, but I know she will do fabulously.

Meanwhile, Caleb needs to work on building a few good character qualities before I subject a teacher to him. I'm hoping a little one on one will help him learn a little tenderness and compassion, as well as respect for his elders.

Wordless Wednesday: the only way I can enjoy fat free milk

In Which We Screw the Customer and Treat Them Like They Are Stupid

I know everyone is cutting back.

I understand stretching things to make ends meet.

I know times are hard.

But please, oh, please do NOT add water to the syrup in a RESTAURANT!

We went to IHOP for breakfast on our lovely snow day. We ordered pancakes. (cuz that's what you do there. It's International House of Pancakes, you know)
I asked for the syrup to be passed. The little air bubble jiggled around much too freely. When I told the waitress that it was watered down, she frowned and said, "Not again!"

So I decided to speak to the manager about it. That guy must've thought I was a complete idiot, because he told me the bottles must get water in them when they are washed. I just looked at him with the most serious look and agreed. I'm sure he thinks he fooled me, but the joke is on him. This is a video of the blueberry and butter pecan syrups. The waitress took the old fashioned away.
This is the IHOP in Millington, TN, in case you didn't know.

If the embedded video won't play, you can see it on youtube here.

WHERE'S that Easy Button?

Wouldn't it be just dandy if there was an easy answer to all of life's big questions: if there were verses in the Bible that clearly stated what to do...

Thou shalt have dinner at Chili's tonight, and order the sirloin cooked medium rare with a side of mashed potatoes and gravy (light on the pepper) and corn on the cob.

Thou shalt not forget to charge thy Zune before you go work out today.

Thou shalt....

Thou shalt not...

How easy our lives would be then.

But alas, this is not always the case. Sometimes decisions come our way which have no perfect answer. Some of these decisions are even fraught with hefty costs and benefits, neither outweighing the other.

I got some news today that I have secretly wanted to hear, but been afraid that if I heard it that I'd be forced to make a decision that would certainly mean upheaval of my life as I know it. And the lives of my children. My husband's life would be changed little, except in the fact that his whole family had been upended.

It would have been great if I'd heard a "Thou shalt" or "Thou shalt not" from him, too, but he's just being supportive of me while I wait for details. Such a slacker.

Meanwhile, I had to leave home today, thinking about this decision, praying about this decision, and forgot my phone.

No worries. I figured, I'd get on the treadmill, plug my ears with headphones, crank up the tunes and worship.

D-E-A-D, dead Zune.

Okay, God! I get it. Be still and know...

Here am I Lord. Speak.

How did we get here?

I have tried different things over the years, but we are heading into scary territory these days. We have come to a point where the child thinks she has the right to speak disrepectfully to her Daddy and me. She has taken to telling me absurd things like, "You just don't even care!" and, "You don't love me!"
At my wit's end, I mentioned it to my sister.
She is the queen of inventive solutions to correcting kids.
Her suggestion was brilliant. (of course)
Every day (or other day, or week, or whatever time frame works) assign her to write down ways that I have shown love and caring.
And while she was at it, I was to do the same thing.
I'm looking forward to sharing our lists later today.

This morning, after a moment of disrespect, I asked, "Would you speak to your Sunday School teacher that way?"
"No ma'am."
"Would you speak to Pastor David that way?"
"No ma'am."
"Would you speak to [the next door neighbor, your swim coach, your Aunt Chris, a complete stranger...] that way?"
"No ma'am."
"Then you may not speak to me that way."

I've made her repeat what she says to me over and over this morning, until she can say what she wants to say with the proper tone and inflection.
I will not accept this:
"No MA'AM!!!!" (sass)
"No ma'am." (sullen)
"NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS EVEN DOING! I WAS JUST TRYING TO ...." (you get the point, I'm sure.)

Oh, I can hardly WAIT until she is an actual teen ager.

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!

I found this on a blog I read. It was so good, I had to repost it here.

Bath Note (author unknown, but admired)

Don’t be alarmed, the world isn’t coming to an end. I am simply taking a bath. It will take about thirty minutes and will involve soap and water. Yes, I know how to swim. Even if I didn’t, forcing myself to drown in a half-inch of lukewarm water is more work than I’ve got energy for. (Which reminds me, I’m all for science projects, but the next time you want to see if Play-Doh floats, use cold water.)

Don’t panic if I’m not out right on time. I’ve heard that people don’t dissolve in water and I’d like to test the theory. While I’m in the tub, I’d like you to remember a few things. The large slab of wood between us is called a door. Do not bang to hear my voice. I promise that even though you can’t see me, I *am* on the other side. I’m not digging an escape tunnel and running for the border,no matter what I said a while ago. I didn’t mean it. Honest. There will be plenty of time later to tell me about your day.

“Later” means at a time when I am no longer naked, wet, and contemplating bubble gum in the blow dryer. I know you have important things to tell me. Please let one of them be that you have invented a new way to blow bubbles, not a new way to add gum to your hair.

Believe it or not, shouting, “TELEPHONE!” through the closed bathroom door will *not* make the phone stop ringing. Answer it and take a message. Since Amazing Mind-Reading Mom has the day off, you’ll need to write that message down. Use paper and a pencil. Do not use your brother and the laundry marker. We can’t send him to school with telephone number tattoos.

Water makes me wet, not deaf. I can still tell the difference between the sound of “nothing” and the sound of a child playing the piano with a basketball. I can also hear you tattling at the top of your lungs. I’m *choosing* NOT to answer you.

Don’t call your dad at work and tell him I am unconscious in the bathroom. He didn’t appreciate it last time. He won’t appreciate it more this time. Trust me.

No matter how much I would like it, water does not make me forgetful. I remember who you are and why you are grounded. No, you can’t go to Shelby’s house to play. No, you can’t go to Shelby’s house to use the bathroom. If someone is in our other bathroom, you will just have to think dry thoughts and wait. Unless you have four feet and a tail, do not think of going outside to “water” the lawn. I know the dog does it. The neighbors don’t feel the need to call me when the dog does it.

Unless the house catches on fire, stay inside and keep the doors locked. Do not go outside and throw rocks at the bathroom window to get my attention. I know it works in the movies. This is reality, the place where people don’t like to sit in a tub while rocks and broken glass rain in on them. Do not set the house on fire. Call me if there is an emergency.

Emergencies ARE:

1. Dad has fallen off the roof.

2. Your brother and/or sister is bleeding.

3. There’s a red fire truck in front of our house.

Emergencies are NOT:

1. Dad has fallen asleep.

2. Someone on TV is bleeding.

3. There’s a red pickup truck in front of our house.

One other thing: Being forced to use the last roll of toilet paper for a towel does not make me happy. It makes me sticky with little white polka dots. In the future, when the tub overflows, use a mop to clean up the water instead of every towel in the house. For my sanity’s sake, let’s pretend it was the tub, Okay? No, I don’t want to hear the real story. Ever. Especially not while I’m standing in the pool of water you missed.

By the way, all Play-Doh experiments are hereby canceled.

Be good. Entertain yourselves. Yes, you can do both at the same time. Try coloring, playing a game, or paying that stack of bills on the coffee table.

I’ll be out soon. Maybe.

Love,

Your Mom

It's In The Wind

I don't like change.

Let me correct that.

I don't like unexpected change.

I actually DO like change that I have planned. In fact, today's post is all about change.

I have been working on a couple of big projects here in the forest. Shawn and I painted the kitchen cabinets and walls. We had to remove wall paper, but it was worth the work. The only problem now is that I'm not crazy about the color I painted the kitchen. I was trying to reproduce an accidental delight I accomplished in a previous home. No dice. My choices were not close enough to the original to accomplish the same result. And the result I am currently living with happens to be somewhat pink. I don't really like pink all that much.

Before, with handles in the middle of the doors.

After, with the handles moved. Nice, eh?

This past weekend Shawn and I pulled the nasty pink print carpet out of the play room and replaced it with neutral linoleum. We will be laying tile in the kitchen next to it, but the dogs sometimes leave unexpected puddles, and I don't want the floor ruined.