No Way! ...Way!

I know you would never believe this by looking at me from behind, but I am a size six. I’m serious! The plus size store where my husband took me to pick up a new pair of pants has re-vamped their sizing charts. So I can truthfully tell people what size I wear and not just mumble into a cough/sneeze. No more shopping for clothes at the tent store for me! I just know they will all be fooled. Last year the stage for the Easter program was built a little differently than in years past. The stairs were a little bit narrower than before. I was mentioning that maybe some of us needed that extra room to get up there, when a passer-by overheard me and suggested I turn sideways to fit up the stairs. I very cleverly pointed out that I am the same size from side to side that I am from front to back. I guess that makes me a square. No one gets my fat jokes but my best friend. Everyone seems to get offended when I refer to myself as the “fat girl.” Makes me want to say, “What? I’m fat? No WAY!” Hello! I have a mirror. And I also have eyes... Duh!