The same conversation comes up every now and again. I still feel as strongly as I did before, but the explanations always get a little more detailed.
Hailey wants to know why she isn't allowed to participate in sleepovers. I have already explained why to my readers, but have not given her the full details. I don't want to give her more than she can handle, and sometimes it is good to ask your kids to trust you. That the decisions you make are not arbitrary, but rationally thought out, and with their best interest at heart. We make the tough ones because we love them. It's what we do. It's what God expects of us. And we don't want to let them down if we can help it.
So I started off with this example: (this is a variation of another example I have heard before.)
Imagine I brought out a pan of brownies and offered them to you. They are still warm from the oven, and cut into huge pieces, six in all. They have chocolate chips and chocolate chunks in them. They smell delicious, and they are oozing chocolatey yumminess. You reach for one, but just before you grasp it, you hear my warning.
"One of these brownies has a piece of Zacchie's poo in it. I didn't put a big piece in there, and I'm not sure which one it's in."
What would you do? Would you eat one because there's five chances you won't get the poopy brownie? Or would you pass?
Her answer, "I'd walk away."
Well, this is a little like that. I know the chances of her being hurt at someone's house are slim, but I also know that the statistics are that she might. Why would I be willing to risk her innocence? So I told Hailey that I believed Mr. Tom* wouldn't hurt her, and Mr. Dick* wouldn't hurt her, and that Mr. Harry* wouldn't hurt her, either, but I also believed my friend's daddy wouldn't hurt my friend, and I was wrong.
So I'd rather she missed out on five perfectly good brownies because I wouldn't want to feed her poo.
*names have been changed to protect the innocent.