I don't remember doing that...

You know those times when you go to the washing machine to put in a load of laundry only to find a smelly bundle of semi-wet clothes already there? You think to yourself, "I don't remember putting those in the washer... I wonder how long they've been there..."
You do know those times, right?
Please tell me I'm not the only one who does this.
I should invest in stock of the laundry detergent company for how many loads I have to re-wash. I get distracted after a load or two. I have the greatest intentions if never going to bed with the washing machine full, but I forget when I'm just so thankful to be going to bed at all.

Sweet, sweet sleep!

They say that when you have a newborn baby that you should sleep when he sleeps. So, although I have no newborn baby, I have been trying to grab a catnap once or twice a day after I feed Zaccheus.

So yesterday I woke up from one of these little breaks to find Hailey sitting in the floor with her back to me. I just knew she had gotten that puppy out of his bed and was holding him. She is not supposed to do this, so I said, "Hailey, why are you holding him?"

She turned around, and then I saw...

"Mom, I thought you would like a break, so I decided to feed him for you."

*groan*

Before I had to go to tube feeding him, she would take the occasional meal to give me a break. But since then, I have done all the feedings. It is kind of a delicate procedure.

If he is swallowing well, I just let him suck on my finger and gently slide the tube in next to it. So he thinks my finger is his nipple. But if he is tired or swallowing weakly, or if I am in a situation where I need him to not get it in his nose, I slide the tube down his throat.

This is not a job for a ten-year-old.

But when I walked in on her feeding him, she was doing a great job! I sat down with her and let her finish what she was doing. She handled him very gently.

Later I asked her how she knew when to feed him, and with all the attitude, (but minus the word, "Duh!") she replied, "Mom, you fed him two hours ago!"

So this morning I let her take the 7:00 feeding so I could get two segments of sleep in a row. But she did me one better. She took the 9:00 feeding as well. I woke up at 9:30, and he was sweetly sleeping with a full belly.

Thank you, sweet girl!

I'm proud of my budding little veterinary!

And Another Welcome to a Real American Hero!

I have a friend over there on the other side of the world fighting for our freedom.

His name is Jeremy.

I am proud to know Jeremy,

because not only is he a friend,

he is a father,

husband,

and Bible student.

He is very nice,

and very brave.

He is a real American hero.

He fights for the freedom of our country,

all the way over there.

While over here,

we pray,

and are very, very thankful

and proud.

If you want to leave him a message of encouragement and support, check out his blog.

Zaccheus pictures

A couple updated photos of Zaccheus.
Enjoy!

Let's all welcome...

Okay, all y'all (that's plural for y'all), lets all welcome my sister Chris to bloggy world. I'm so happy she has joined us on our adventures. I'm sure you will enjoy any and everything she writes, but I must warn you, she is funnier and much more clever than me, and if you leave me for her, my feelings will be very, very hurt.

Friday's Feast No. 1

Appetizer: Wii, Playstation or XBox?

We have a playstation which I never play. I don't get sitting in front of a screen only working out a few fingers.

{Note the irony that I'm rediculously somewhat addicted to blogging. ;D}


Soup: Would you ever go skydiving?

I was in a horrible parasailing accident when Hailey was two and Caleb had just turned one. Shawn and I were dunked in the drink and dragged behind the boat. If he hadn't warned me to take a breath just before impact, I might have drowned. So I think I'll pass, thank you!


Salad: Name a sequel that you think is better than the original movie.

Hmm, I can think of a few which were worse, (Legally Blonde being the ultimate) but I can't think of any better ones.


Main Course: Share your most wonderful birthday celebration.

I don't think you can top this one!


Dessert: If you dare, post a picture of yourself making a silly face.

Look at me!

In case you are color blind or don't pay much attention to details, or perhaps you have been so captivated by my writing that you have missed the sad state of the design, check out my new digs and by-line! I give all the props to my talented and artistic friend Tina. Now I know you are impressed and dying to have her re-design your page, but one at a time, people! Don't rush her all at once and crash her server in your haste.


I'm just kidding, folks! Get your fanny over there and hire her to re-design your sorry page! Before she is famous and you can't afford her!

Please...

Please pray for the Chapman family. They need all the prayers they can get right now.
The clock has struck midnight, and this Cinderella is gone. But now she dances with her Father.

Why we do what we do

On this roller coaster we call life, there are highs and lows, twists and turns. Sometimes we end up in a place we never expected.

When I was younger I knew that one day I wanted to be a wife and possibly a mother, so that's no surprise. I just never imagined the challenges that loving would create.

There are rewards and sacrifices along the way, and somehow I began to realize that the rewards heavily outweighed the sacrifices.

The child who looks at me with the sky in his eyes and tells me he loves me best.

The young-almost-woman who wraps her arms understandingly around me while I cry from exhaustion and tells me that I'm doing a great job and she's proud of me.

The husband who stands behind every heart-wrenching decision I make.

These are the reasons to love. These are the reasons to be. These are the reasons I do what I do.

Here we go again still

After a visit with Dr. Tim to update his antibiotic, Zaccheus is starting something new. He has been choking pretty badly when he eats from his bottle, because he has grown so much that his cleft palate is bigger. Formula goes up into his nose and he chokes, sneezes, and sputters. It is quite traumatic. The hard thing to understand is how this happened so suddenly. He was eating fine on Saturday, but come Sunday, he couldn't do it. So Dr. Tim looked in his mouth and took a few pictures. The cleft is way in the back and is pretty extreme. And to top it all off, his pneumonia is back.

So we discussed our options, and whether we were out of them, and decided this:

I will feed him with a stomach tube which I slide down his throat to bypass the cleft. Then I can use a syringe to give him his formula. But I continue to use a bottle for his water so he doesn't forget how to swallow. That's what Dr. Sandy was afraid of. When he is bigger and his lungs are clear of pneumonia, Dr. Tim wants to do corrective surgery. But the choice was mine. It will be a long two to five more months of this crazy schedule. Am I willing to keep up this pace? Can I even do it? The house is falling apart around my ears and the laundry is piling up.

The answer: As long as I have breath and Zacchie isn't suffering because of my stubbornness.

Yes.

Looks like we made it

After spending the night first with Zac in his pouch on my chest, and then in his bed next to my chair, I finally moved to the couch, so I could stretch out. We are through the night and it was the longest, yet. I have to go to a thing at the place this morning, but when I get home, I think I'll take a nap.

I'm pretty sure I've earned it.

Zaccheus is re-hydrated. I have been giving him water from a bottle between his feedings. And this morning I have found him in a puddle when I woke him for his last two feedings. This is normal. This is good. It means he is urinating properly. After feeding him and changing his puppy pad, I put him in his warm, dry bed.

Sleep well, little one.

One of us should.

Prayer

If you are awake tonight, I could use your prayers. Zacchie has become dehydrated and is quite lethargic and weak. It might be silly to pray for a puppy, so pray that I can get through this night without falling apart. I am very tired.
Thanks.

Squeaky toys and shadow monsters

Ever heard the phrase, "Afraid of his own shadow?" I finally figured out that Zaccheus is growling at his shadow. It's too cute. He growls this squeaky little growl that sounds almost like a cat purring, and spins in a circle. So I do shadow puppets for him and he barks a tiny bark. He is getting playful, and chewed on my pant leg yesterday. It was a toothless tug, but it made me laugh.

I haven't spent much money on stuff for him because we didn't know how long he would live, but today I bought him a couple of squeaky toys. Cricket and Roxy want to steal them, but I won't let them. And if they do get hold of them, I'm pretty sure they will tell on themselves.

"Zacchie's toys? *squeak* I haven't *squeak* seen 'em!" *squeak*

Hmmmm!

The ferocious beast

Quite the little scrapper, this little Zaccheus is. I have gone back to feeding him on the hour during the day and every other hour at night. After I saw what porkers the other four have become, it has occurred to me that Zacchie needed more. I mean they are HUGE! More than twice his size, except for the runt. And she outweighs him by several ounces. So I have been stuffing his belly. He is finally eliminating without my help. (Yay, no more puppy enemas!) Dr. Sandy told me to add plain yogurt to his formula. But now when I wake him to eat, he gets very demanding. I kiss him a bit to wake him up fully, and then put him on the puppy pad. Lord help me if I don't retrieve him immediately! He growls and yaps, squeaks his little puppy bark, and lets me know he's not happy.
Shawn finally told me he knows I will not be able to give Zaccheus up when he's ready, and that he's okay with that. We're not telling the kids, because if a home does become available, I will give him up. The only thing is, no one could possibly love him as much as I do, after pouring so much of myself into him. I never expected him to live, and now he is barking out his demands.
What a ferocious beast!
And after riding on the motorcycle yesterday with me in his little pouch, he has a big, bad reputation to live up to. Gotta get him a helmet!

Happy birthday to me...

Okay, actually it's tomorrow, but I got my presents today, so I have to write about them.

Shawn spruced up my bike with a basket, new handlebar grips, and a rack on the back. But the coolest gift was the new (to me) bike that I don't have to pedal. It goes much faster and makes more noise. It looks like this:



But the most amazing part was that I never saw it coming. Shawn can't surprise me because I am too nosy intuitive. I figure it out every time. But not this time, Buddy! I had no idea at all. Nice one, Shawn! Yay me!!

Broken funny bone

It has occurred to me recently that in my sleep deprived delirium, I have lost my sense of humor. When I go back and read previous posts and see the hilarious mildly funny content, I wonder where I have been. I used to see the humor in the mundane, but now I'm basically in survivor mode.
For example, when I realized this week that I needed to have THE talk with my son, I panicked. He's only eight-going-on-nine, for Pete's sake! His comment to me, in the middle of what I was saying, was, "Okay, Mom, I get it." Usually I would have fallen out laughing. Instead I wanted to cry.
And yesterday in the car, he and his sister were arguing about whether Luke Skywalker was a Jedi knight in the final movie. Hailey insisted that he hadn't even finished his training. Caleb begged to differ. It got quite heated. I had to break them apart. "Daddy will know the answer," I said. "Ask him tonight." But I can't help wondering if Luke was really a Jedi. This is very annoying, and I don't think I'll sleep until I know the answer. Whatever.

Tag, I'm it this time!

Every day, sometimes more than once, I read the blogs of all my bloggy friends. One of those friends, Yvette, who I met over at Tina's blog, tagged me with this meme. I love to read Yvette's babbling blog because she makes me laugh. She doesn't know it, but she and I are very much alike in the bad habits department. I read her answers to that question and smiled, because I could literally copy and paste them and they'd fit me. I won't because that'd be plagiarizing. But thanks to her, I have to think up five OTHER bad habits. But if you go over to her blog and read her answers, you could just imagine they are mine too.


Now on the the meme.....Here are the rules (post these first).


Each player answers questions about themselves.
At the end of the post, tag 5 people by posting their names.
Go to their site/blog and leave a comment telling them they've been tagged.
Invite them to your site/blog so they can read the tagged post.
Let the person who tagged you know when you've completed your tagged post.
Questions:

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?

I actually remember exactly what I was doing ten years ago today. It was my first Mother's Day, and I was taking my newborn daughter home from the hospital. Talk about a great Mother's Day gift! I wanted to stop by the church and show her off on the way home, but I was exhausted, much like today, and I decided to pass on that idea.


2. What are 5 things on your "To Do" list?

A. Lose 100 pounds on The Biggest Loser

B. Win a million dollars on The Amazing Race with my amazing husband

C. Sell everything and become a world traveler

D. Visit every national park in the country.

E. Get up in the morning

3. What are 5 snacks you enjoy?

A. Strawberry and banana slices

B. Tortilla chips and bean dip at Casa Mexicana

C. Ice cream

D. Candy corn and peanuts (tastes like a payday candy bar, I swear!)

E. Pretzels and M&Ms


4. Name some things you would do if you were a millionaire.

A. Give 10% to God

B. Pay off all of our debts

C. Buy my hubby a shiny new sports car

D. Pay my kids' tuition through college

E. Travel the world, including the national parks of America


5. Name some places where you've lived.

A. Illinois

B. Tennessee

C. Still Tennessee

D. Different county in Tennessee



6. Name some bad habits you have.

A. Eating junk food

B. Not being faithful to exercise

C. Starting stuff, and never finishing

D. Yelling at the little people in my house. (that's not copying, is it Yvette?)



7. Name some jobs you've had.

A. Taco maker at Taco Bell. I got promoted to cashier, and then to drive through. They had me there a lot, because the people could understand me through the speaker.

B. Library grunt in college. Checking in and out lots of books, cataloging periodicals, shelving, computer entry when we went from card catalog to computer catalog...

C. Package handler at Federal Express. Took lots of classes and was certified by the FAA as a Dangerous Goods Handler. That's big responsibilities, folks. You can't put certain things near other certain things, or you might blow a plane out of the sky. You have to tie everything down just so, pass the pilot's inspection, and sign a pile of paperwork. And if anything goes wrong, you could face major fines and even jail time. Okay, not really jail time...

C. Bank teller. I was in the middle of having my drawer audited when the masked men came in shooting guns. If they hadn't stole my money that day, I would have been written up for having too much money in my second drawer. Good thing they didn't look in that one! And when the cops came and the bank was counted down, I found two thousand dollars stashed under my tray. You know how easy it would have been to slip it in my pocket, and let them assume it had been stolen in the robbery?? You know I didn't, though.

D. Went back to FedEx after the robbery.

E. Homeschooling my kids. It's a full time job, you know!


8. Name those whom you are tagging.

Kellan
Lorrie
LaDonia
Kristen

Here's a song for all you Mommies.

Happy Mother's Day!


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Used to describe me...

My friend Tina always does the Friday's Feast, which I love, and aspire to do. But I always forget to do it before I read her blog, and I don't think I'm as clever as she is, so I haven't yet. But this week it asked for a five word sentence in which each word begins with the first letter of your name. Sounded kooky, so I'm giving it a try. Funny thing is, it sort of describes me. Well the first one, anyway. What, I'm tired!

Dazzling domestic diva does dishes.

or maybe this one

Distressed diminutive dwarfs destroy documents.

or try this one

Dancing deluxe daisies daintily debut.

or this one

Deceptively dangerous dandelions dash deftly.

Call me Zaccheus Joey Rocky Eeyore Locke

Okay, so you already know why his name is Zaccheus, but we had to tack on a few extra names to the wee little man.

I started carrying him in a pouch around my neck when he first came to live with me, so I nick-named him Joey. As in kangaroo. Please tell me you already got that.

Then soon I saw what a fighter little Zacchie was, so I said we might should call him Rocky, which was funny, because the next day at the vet someone came in to pick up their Rocky. He was a German shepherd. Zaccheus currently weighs five ounces.

But Chris decided to call him Eeyore after his disastrous tail fiasco. I haven't even blogged about it because it was THAT awful. When I took him back to re-stitch his tail, the other doctor accidentally ran one of the stitches through his rectum. It got so swollen and inflamed he couldn't poop, so I called Chris in the middle of the night to ask what to do. When I told her what I thought had happened, she was so incredulous, she let out a nervous chuckle. I was so stressed I snapped. "It's not funny! I'm not joking!" She didn't think I was, but you have to admit, that's some kind of statement. "I think the doctor stitched his tail to his butt."
She came over at 3:30 in the morning, and agreed that we should call Dr. Sandy at home.
Disclaimer: Dr. Sandy is my friend, and did NOT stitch his tail to his butt. The other doctor did.
Dr. Sandy told me to remove the stitch and put some ice on it for a few minutes. apply some Neosporin, and bring him to the office in the morning. By the time we got there, the swelling had gone down and he was okay, but she did an enema in case he was impacted from not going for so long. Chris said she's going to call him Eeyore, because his tail is pinned to his behind.

Then she told me the bad news. Zaccheus sounds like he has a touch of pneumonia. This is what cleft palate, bottle fed animals usually die of. By the next day he could barely breathe, so Dr. Tim put him on an antibiotic. He has been on it for three and a half days, and has improved immensely. His eyes are both open, and he is trying to stand on all fours. The other puppies in his litter just lie around all day. He is the strongest, no surprise.

And last night I added the Locke for a character in my favorite show, LOST. Apparently, he has some special qualities that make him come back from death's door, when no one expects him to live. That's my little Zaccheus, for sure!

Before ten years ago

I was no more than a wife, daughter, sister or friend.

I had no idea what happiness was.

I had never buckled a car seat.

I had never nursed a baby.

I had not met you.

But since then,

I held a piece of my heart in my hands.

I found a missing piece of my life.

I saw a tiny version of myself.

I learned how to love you.

I became your Mom.

Happy Birthday, my sweet, sweet Hailey!

On the upswing

He's getting better. Zaccheus had a pretty good night, all things considered. I fed him every hour up to his medication dose, and then I let us both have two hour segments of sleep for the last two feedings. I moved the heat lamp a little further from his bed. He seemed so hot, but when I turned it off entirely, he would shiver. That burns a lot of calories, and he needs to use them to grow. Moving the lamp proved to be a good move. He stopped crying out so much, but didn't get chilled. The heat made him pant, and his lungs probably hurt because of the pneumonia. All of this is speculation, of course. I'm not a vet. I'm just tuning into his needs.



He is stronger, and has put on a few tenths of an ounce. But imagine my surprise when I picked him up for his latest feeding, and looked him in the eye. One is open, and a little cloudy still. The other should follow pretty soon. If I didn't already love him with a fierceness, I do now.



Welcome to the family, Zaccheus. It's nice to meet you!


Guess I'm going to have to re-think my big plans for the little guy. Don't tell the kids, but I think he might have wiggled into my heart.

Who Cares?

The laundry is piling up.

Who cares?

The dishes need doing.

Who cares?

The kids have been feeding themselves.

Who cares?

I have not slept for days.

Who cares?

The helpless, blind, weak, very sick puppy who is fighting pneumonia cares.

That's who.

Trying something new

I read somewhere how to do this and I wanted to prove I'm not stupid see if I could do it.

Just checking!

What a day!

Oh, Zaccheus and I had a crazy, crazy day! I called first thing this morning about getting his tail docked, and they told me to bring him in at 10:30. So I did. Dr. Sandy, who happens to be married to Dr. Tim, was very surprised that Zacchie was even alive at this point. She said he was doing much better, and I told her all the things I had been doing to help him. So far so good. We talked about what his chances are for a good life, she looked at his cleft palate, and said it looks like it is healing over. It will still require surgery when he is bigger, but for now, he is doing okay.
Not great, but not badly. Much better than when my sister called out the S.O.S. that he was gasping for air and they didn't expect him to survive.
So she takes him to the back to do his procedure, and when she returns with him, she tells me to keep him quiet, only get him out of bed to feed him.
But when I got him home, looked under the blanket, and saw the blood, I kind of panicked. Called Sister. How much do they bleed???
Don't overreact, it will stop soon. Okay, Diane. Breathe.
I am usually good in crisis. I don't faint at the sight of blood. But helplessness freaks me out, and he looked pretty helpless. Called Dr. Sandy. He's still bleeding? they ask. Hold please.
*commercial for some veterinary medicine*
Mrs. Thomas, Dr. Sandy says if he is still bleeding, bring him back.
Is it time to panic yet???
Don't freak out the kids.
Deep breath.
Get in the car and drive 35 miles to the office.
One of his stitches came out. They fix him up and clean up the blood.
Good thing you called, say they. We're glad you brought him back.
Me too.
Sigh of relief, drive home.
He is sleeping off and on. The rest of the time he is crawling around his bed trying to get away from the pain. I hate myself for letting them do it to him. I don't care if he IS a Yorkie and they always dock Yorkie tails. He could have kept his tail, and I would have loved him, tail and all.

Revealed

Here's the Wee Little Man

What goes on in that head?

Caleb: Oh, man, I left my drink at McAlister's!

Mom: I'm sorry, honey! And it was full, too!

Caleb: I had great plans for that drink.

Mom: Plans? I didn't know you can have plans for a drink.

Caleb: You can if it's YOURS!

*Can't argue with that logic!*

A Chance

Doctor Tim looked at Zaccheus today. He said he has a chance, so I came home with him. It was emotional, because I had to warn the kids, who were waiting in the reception area that I might not bring him out of the exam room. They understood. But Doc held him and pulled on the skin behind his neck. He said Zacchie is strong and wants to live, so to keep up the good work.
The version I gave the kids was less hopeful because I don't want to break their hearts if he doesn't make it. I'd rather they were a little prepared, at least. Not that you can really be prepared for an animal to die.
He just ate, and I've been up several times the past two nights with him, so I'm going to lie down while he sleeps.
Feels like having a real baby!